Encouragement For Parents - And The Rest of Us As Well!

My wife and I began the parenting adventure in a different century.  That gives us some historical perspective on what parents face today.  

Now, as an overdue grandparent and pastor of young families, I find myself very, very aware of how dramatically the world that we parent in has changed.  Technology, entertainment and social pressures have altered the ocean of life that families will grow in.  No wise parent would face those waters alone.  Here are three GREAT resources for encouraging and equipping parents in this new setting.   

By the way, they are in alphabetical and not rank order.  You’ll want to read them all, even if you are raising only boys or only girls.  Odds are still good that your kids will eventually bring home your potential “child-in-law” and you’ll want to get started understanding that gender NOW!

Boys Adrift: The Five Factors Driving the Growing Epidemic of Unmotivated Boys and

Underachieving Young Men (Click Here)  by Dr Leonard Sax, MD PhD

How does the bundle of joy that you brought home from the hospital become a 28 year old living in your basement and playing video games after you paid 6 years of tuition without him getting a degree or holding a job for more than 18 months??  OK – maybe that overstates your situation, but you can picture the problem.  Dr Sax – a practicing pediatrician AND PhD research psychologist – would say that one or more of these were likely factors:

--  Changes at School

--  Video Games

--  Medications for ADHD

--  Endocrine Disruptors

--  Transferring the Meaning of Manhood

Dr Sax combines medical training, current research with lots of stories about real boys and their family to give clarity to the challenges and some practical insight into solutions.  By recognizing the biological differences between boys and girls, he hopes to optimize the opportunity and potential for both.

Girls on the Edge: The Four Factors Driving the New Crisis for Girls: Sexual Identity, the

Cyberbubble, Obsessions, and Environmental Toxins (Click Here)  by Dr Leonard Sax, MD PhD

Boys today are more likely to be disengaged from the real world compared to boys 30 years ago. But American girls today are far more likely to be anxious and depressed compared with American girls 30 years ago. Which is worse: being a disengaged boy who sits in his bedroom happily playing video games 20 hours a week, or being an anxious girl who secretly cuts herself with razor blades? The question is meaningless. Both the boy and the girl in this example need help. But they need different kinds of help. – Dr Leonard Sax

In this book, Dr Sax does for parents of girls what he did for parents of boys in the previous book.  The subtitle contains the four factors that he focuses on, but he connects them to experiences like cyber bullying, athletic injuries, anorexia, depression and sexual acting out.

Give Them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus (Click Here) by Elyse

Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson

Of the three, this is the only explicitly faith-based – and for me that means “Gospel-centered” (Click Here or Here or Here for an explanation of that) – resource of parenting.  Let me say this clearly: that is because much of what I read in “Christian Bookstores” is often incomplete and even unhelpful.  That is what makes Give Them Grace pure gold.

Elyse is a grandmother who – like me – came to a grace-centered perspective on the Gospel late in life.  She writes this book with the daughter she made mistakes on as together they reflect of raising children - Elyse's grandchildren - in light of the Gospel of Grace.  Elyse is a GREAT Bible teacher, transparent disciple of Jesus, trained counselour and honest grandmother.  The book abounds with stories, confessions and practical scenarios to make concrete what their message would look and sound like with real kids in real life.

Together, these three books guide my ministry with families and kids all along the age spectrum: information, sermon illustrations and guidance for prayer.  In concert with other churches, educators and civic groups, I am also offering interactive seminars intended to give to participants in one hour what they would get from reading any one book in about 12 hours.  They are great for saving time and garnering insight.  Most participants go one to dig deeply into one or two particular chapters that have specific connection to a current circumstance they are facing.  Email me if you are interested or if I can be of help.