The Gospel, Identity and Questions of Sexuality

With regard to sexuality and marriage questions, the “message” for my LGBT friends and neighbors is identical to the “message” I have for everyone, including myself.  Whether straight or gay, married or single, old or young, the Gospel sets you free from seeking your core identity in your sexual preferences or performance.  That message impacts different people in different ways, but it means that Jesus offers all of us a new identity – the identity of “in Christ.” This identity then becomes the life-giving source to all other aspects of my life.  “I am not my own, but belong – body and soul, in life and in death – to my faithful Savior, Jesus Christ.”  Those opening words to the Heidelberg Catechism state it well.

As a straight, married male, this means that because of what Jesus did at the cross for me, my core identity is now as a beloved, adopted child of the King of the Universe.  My core identity is not my maleness.  It is not being straight.  It is not being married.  My core identity is being a child of God by His grace.  I am a male who is first “in Christ.”  That will live out differently than being a male who is not “in Christ.”  And it will be different than living as a female who is “in Christ.”  But the important thing is that every other identity, role or circumstance grows out of being “in Christ.” 

I’m honest enough to admit that I am still figuring out what it means to first be “in Christ” on everything else in my life.  Even after 45 years of life surrendered to Him.  And yes, I sometimes – more often than I can often admit – get it wrong.  But the point is this: my core identity “in Christ” is what feeds every other aspect of my life, and not the other way around.

That means that as a straight, married man, I don’t get a free pass on whatever I want to do with my sexuality.  I’m not free to use my wife as an object for my personal desire, any more than I am free to look for sex outside of the covenant of my marriage.  Christ makes clear that such behaviors are sin, and not Him.  Being “in Christ” gives life and direction to my straightness and my marriedness.  It transforms them. 

Far too many straight, married men in churches let something else energize their sexuality.  Their fear, or pride or anger or selfishness or pornographic memories perhaps.  The Gospel has a word of freedom and transformation for us.

The Gospel calls my single friends to live out their singleness from their identity “in Christ.”  I believe that includes chastity.  But both sex outside of marriage and chastity lived as self-righteousness are expressions of a heart that is falling short of “in Christ.”  There is grace to change us in this.  That is what all of us need with whatever we face.

You can see where this is taking me.  I believe that the Gospel calls my LGBT friends to let “in Christ:” be their core identity rather than their sexual preferences or desires.  That would be to live out their same-sex attraction or gender sensibility from their identity “in Christ” and not the other way around.  From what we know of Jesus and the careful, honest study of the Scriptures, I believe that would mean chastity in this setting as well.  It would mean not idolizing sexuality above God or sexualizing healthy friendships.  It would be a need for and an experience of grace in a setting I have never known.  But that is what is promised to those who are “in Christ.”