Sorting Through the Duggar Rubble

The sexual abuse of children is a topic that most would prefer to not talk about, but one that we must be prepared to face.  There are victims among us, and we want to care for them in appropriate and helpful ways.  Avoidance cripples our ability to do that.

The recent revelation of the sexual abuse perpetrated years ago by Josh Duggar – part of the reality TV family at the center of “19 Kids and Counting – puts the issue in our faces, so let me suggest  some things to consider, as well as references that I found helpful for digging deeper.

Sexual Abuse of Children is a Civil Crime and Should Be Investigated and Prosecuted as Such

The Duggar parents were wrong to treat these crimes as a family and church matter when they became aware of them.  Certainly the family had some things to consider and their church had a role to play – but not in place of the appropriate civil authorities.

Breaking and Entering is a crime that needs to be dealt with by the local police, and not just a matter of church discipline even when perpetrated by a church member.  Sexual Abuse of children should be handled in a similar manner.

Click Here to read more on this by Russell Moore, the president of the Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission of the Southern Baptist Convention. 

We Need To Be Honest About Our Own Failings and Potential For Evil

We tend to minimize the potential for evil on the part of ourselves and “those like us.”  That is an initial step to rationalizing and eventually covering up sin in our midst.

Elyse Fitzpatrick connects the truth of our sin and the Gospel to the Duggars in a compelling blog post: Click Here to read We are all the Duggars.

Connect With A Truly Gospel-Centered Church

For years, I have been aware of the Bill Gothard approach to life and faith and to a lesser extent, their perspective on home-schooling.  I would not be involved with either.  I have used Bill Gothard’s teaching – especially with regard to women – as a clear example of dangerously moralistic religion and antithetical to the Gospel of Grace.  That they were complicit in this mess is sad, but not entirely surprising to me.

I get it that Gothardites flood their material with statements that have proof texts.  But that is far from being truly “biblical.”  They pile on the law.  They promote outward conformity, which is always rich soil for hypocrisy, self-righteousness and cover-ups. 

God’s answer to our sin is the Gospel.  We all need more of that every day.  Sadly, not even the Gospel will insulate us from every possible sin, but it does have the power to shape us in ways that lead to more honesty about our sin, transparency for dealing with it and more strength to face the temporal consequences.

Victims First

I have grown increasingly aware that in traumatic situations like abuse of all sorts, the first priority must be the care and justice for the victim.  I understand the legal process that presumes “innocent until proven guilty.”  But I am more committed than ever to caring for the victims in light of their experience, even while that process proceeds for the perpetrator.

Here are two good blog posts that will take you deeper on this:

• When the Church Protects Sexual Predators is written by my friend Sue Cortese, herself a victim. 
• Surviving Child Sexual Abuse by Charles Blow in the NY Times.

In my ministry, I have stopped expecting victims to be rational, balanced or fair.  Sexual abuse, particular of children, is such a deep wound and trauma that all other systems, relationships and perspective are damaged.  We start from where we start.  I let them grieve, weep and vent.  I will put it on myself to do what it takes to reach, be available and minister to them.  I am thankful that the Gospel has power to “restore the years the locust has eaten,” (Joel 2:25) but it has taken time and experience for me to realize just how much this plague takes away.

In closing, I will recommend a book that I have found helpful as a minister of the Gospel and in ministry with the sexually abused: The Wounded Heart: Hope for Adult Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse by Dan Allender.