Porn In The USA

Porn now affects virtually everyone’s relationships, even if neither partner actively spends time with it. How so? .  .  .   If a critical mass of emerging adult men consume porn regularly—by most estimates we’re there now—it cannot but shape (sexual practices and relationships).  .  .  .  This is new, too. Online porn is a uniquely modern problem in that it—like hooking up—thrives in part because of its speed and because it encourages men (and some women) to compartmentalize sex as a consumer product to be regularly and briefly consumed. Unlike relationships, it doesn’t require work. And our lives, after all, are very busy. Sex has to fit in somehow (since sex is also increasingly considered a need rather than a desire). Thus porn is increasingly fitting into modern relationships—including marriages.
From Premarital Sex in America: How Young Americans Meet, Mate, and Think about Marrying by Mark Regnerus and Jeremy Uecker.  Oxford University Press, 2011.  Click Here For Amazon.com link

Mark Regnerus is a sociology professor at the University of Texas.  He is just one of a number of social researchers who have begun to identify and measure the sudden and extraordinary impact of pornography on life in the United States.

There is a “New Porn” that has come into existence and influence as a result of high-speed internet connections.  And it is not the Playboy of my own college days "on steroids."  This "New Porn" is as different from that as a nuclear bomb is from a firecracker.  Think computers, iPads and smart phones at work, coffee shop and home.  Think about measurable, enduring changes to brain chemistry and connections.  As I reviewed the research – I was a sociology major in college, so I have some training in this. – I found that those studies that had the best research base were turning up the most frightening impacts.  This is never a good sign.  And the best research is all within the past five years.  This is new.  It is big.  It is pervasive.  It is different.  And it is destructive.
I highly recommend that you take about 30 minutes to read the material and watch two videos available on The Gospel Coalition website from a post called 9 Things You Should Know About Pornography And The Brain.  Click Here to get there.  It’s like the traffic report for the morning commute:  You need to know this information, even if it’s not exactly good news. 

That is the social research side of things.  It is helpful for awareness.  But I am a pastor, so I view the world from a different vantage point.  How then do I – and Gospel-centered churches like Christ Covenant – respond in the face of this rising tsunami of high-speed digital destruction?

Be Honest About The Danger – The Scripture is filled with exhortations and warnings to avoid choices and behaviors with destructive consequences.  Internet porn is proving to be a significant danger to lives, families and communities.  There are measurable changes in brain chemistry that effect people in known and destructive ways.  Let’s be informed and honest.

It’s Not Just About Sex – On one level, internet porn is about sex, at least as it presents.  But is just as clearly about more than sex.  I have sat with men who thought their porn viewing was about sexuality, and they assumed that marriage would “fix” their situation.  Six months to a year into the marriage, that is clearly not the case and they are desperate to be free from the addiction and shame.

Expect The Brokenness – No one begins to dabble with internet porn with a plan to become an addict and damage their future.  But that is happening at an alarming rate to all segments of our community.  Research identifies typical initial contact with internet porn is now at ten years of age.  People involved with porn are not “those people.”  They are “us” and people we know and love – our “neighbors” as Jesus would put it.  We need to learn how to welcome, love and disciple anyone caught in this web with the hope of the Gospel.  Christ Covenant supports a local ministry group for people facing pornography issues.  We have referral networks with Gospel-centered ministries that minister with real grace and power.  Because we expect the brokenness, we’ve become equipped to offer the hope.

Our God and the Gospel Are Bigger – I don’t believe that authentic faith involves denial of the sin or brokenness or challenges that we face.  Instead, it involves seeing those things in light of the real God and the Good News of His Gospel of Grace that is BIGGER than all of those things.  This is a time for the true God of the Bible, not the small god of our convenience, traditions or wishes.