Meaning What You Mean When You Say It

Christopher Hitchens, recently deceased, was one of the best known of the "New Atheists."  He and others were not simply atheist in their own conviction.  They were also virulently anti-faith of any sort.  No "live-and-let-live" sort of guy, Hitchens made a career out of vitreolic attacks on any expression of faith but his own.

Though I most often found myself disagreeing with him - usually very old arguments and observations served up with new hyperbole and snarky sarcasm - I was taken by his observations in an interview shortly before his death.

Ben Stevens refers to it and then comments in his post entitled, The Gospel According to Christopher on the Huffington Post, which follows:

Standing Up Against Domestic Violence

I was unaware that Sunday, November 25 was the UN's International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women.  It became the occasion for a strong and illuminating response by many Gospel-centered bloggers.  The Church, the Gospel, and Violence Against Women by Justin Taylor is a blog post worth reading carefully.  Justin is a favorite Gospel-centered blogger of mine.  His post includes excerpts and links to 12 others on the topic.  I would encourage people to read his blog, and then read his links.  This matter is too important for us to get wrong.  Click Here for his blog.

What is particularly encouraging for me is that most of these writers are men who hold a different basic view of the Bible’s teaching about the relationship of husband and wife.  They are “complementarian” and hold a gracious view of “male headship” in the marriage.  On this issue, I am what is called “egalitarian,” meaning that because in Christ men and women are equal before God, a marriage is the coming together of equals.  For whatever differences, all of us stand strongly against domestic violence.

Let me add as well that domestic violence is not just about the violence that produces physical bruises and spills blood.  In many ways, the more damaging violence is the psychological and relational manipulation that undermines a safe relationship and emotional connection.  Men are perfectly capable of bringing home a paycheck, and then using it as an emotional club or a justification for being distant relationally.  Prisoners of war carry wounds in their psyche long after their physical captivity is over.  Likewise, many women and children carry wounds deep within them long after a relationship is ended and physical safety is secured.

Here are five excerpts and links from Taylor’s blog to give you a bit of what is there for further investigation.

Reflecting On The Matter of Life and Abortion

I'd like to recommend for your careful reading and reflection a number of good blog posts related to the issue of abortion.  I've been deeply troubled by the lack of careful consideration of abortion and all that it invllves during the last election cycle.  This is far too important a matter - lieterally life and death - to be left to sloganeering and "gotcha moments" by media pundits.  Set aside time to read and ponder these articles.  In some cases, you can look back on news events and consider them with hindsight.  Consider it part of the ongoing education on an issue that will be with us for the foreseeable future.

Reading With Gospel Eyes: Kathy Keller's Review of "A Year of Biblical Womanhood"

Let me highly recommend the review by Kathy Keller (yes, Tim’s wife) of a book called “A Year of Biblical Womanhood: How a Liberated Woman Found Herself Sitting on Her Roof, Covering Her Head, and Calling Her Husband ‘Master.’”  Click Here for Kathy's review.

Kathy’s review is outstanding and insightful.  The book she reviews, less so.  

The Erosion of Freedom of Religion in American Life

Make no mistake about it, there is a seismic shift going on in our country with regard to Freedom of Religion.  Let me put a spotlight on two issues that demonstrate it.  I will summarize them and then provide links to lengthier articles that provide more information, background and analysis.

Why I Won’t Tell You Who To Vote For From The Pulpit

I’d be happy to tell you who I am voting for actually.  But it will cost you some time and a cup of coffee.  If you want to hear about the issues and convictions that bring me to those votes, it will cost you even more: the price of a lunch!  But you won’t hear about my voting plans from the pulpit.  In that position, I deal with things that matter for eternity, not just this election cycle.

There is a good deal more to say about this than I will take room for here.  Instead, I will simply focus on four reasons that I won’t be telling people at Christ Covenant how to vote.

Jesus never had anything to say about . . . .

I hear it quite often these days.  An increasing number of people attempt to demonstrate that their support of gay marriage, homosexuality or some other hot social topic is somehow consistent with the teaching of Jesus. “Jesus never had anything to say about __________.”  Just fill in the blank and you now have God on your side.  It's called an argument from silence.

If I can't trust you with your baby, how can I trust you with your vote!

I am incensed!  I got up from my desk and screamed at the television “If I can’t trust you with your baby, how can I trust you with your vote!”  Full disclosure here:  This is an edited quotation.  My original rant contained language that was inappropriate for a family blog.

What blew my gasket on a Monday morning was a national TV ad that presented a string of naked women holding one-word signs to say “If you don’t trust me with my body, why should I trust you with my country?”  Trust you with your body?  From women who will parade their nakedness on TV hid only by flimsy poster board?!?!?!

The subliminal message was so loaded with bad assumptions that I hardly know where to begin.

Digging Deeper Into Archaeology Headlines

The headline reads “A Faded Piece of Papyrus Refers to Jesus’ Wife.”  Further into the NY Times article – Click Here To Read – you can find out that the scrap is smaller than a business card, contains eight lines of broken text, is found in a different country than Jesus and his first followers lived in, hundreds of miles away from where He lived and preached, written a language He never spoke or wrote and was written more than 300 years after his death.  Three hundred years.  That’s longer than the history of the United States.

And the statement is only partially intact.  The line in question reads “Jesus said to them my wife” and like most hand copied texts of this era, contains no spaces, capitalization or punctuation.  Wouldn't you love to know the context?  What went before this fragment and what followed?

Imagine a business card-sized fragment of paper found in Chile in an Andean native language that said “Washington had two wives.”  Would that be news in the halls of university American History departments?  Would careers advance in the field of “Presidential History?”

Just Assume You Don’t Get It

Just assume you don’t get “it.”  “It” being the Gospel of grace.

One of the most honest and important steps any person can take towards growing in Christ, is to simply accept the fact that you don’t really live by the Gospel.  Take that step in your thinking, and you will be open to repenting and then pursuing the Gospel.  Think that you “have got the gospel” and you will want to “move on” to whatever you think is next.  And in that, you step away from the Gospel.

A Sin-Sick and Broken World

This past Sunday I preached about our hope for the full restoration of all creation when Christ returns.  “We live in a sin-sick and broken world,” I said,” that awaits redemption and transformation.”

Monday, I got up to news of the overnight death of Jim Carr, an EPC pastor that I have known since we were both in High School in Charlotte, NC.  While his wife Vickie called 911 from a bedroom, Jim confronted a burglar in his home, was shot in the chest and died on the way to the hospital.  911 has a recording of his description of the incident and perpetrator as he lay bleeding.  Click Here for the story.

Rape and Abortion

Todd Akin’s recent comments regarding rape are reprehensible.  They also cloud the difficult discussion that our nation needs regarding abortion.  The discussion on these two subjects, rape and abortion, are two different ones, though at one point, they do connect.

So first: rape is a crime of violence and power, typically committed by men against women, that should be condemned by all, prevented to the extent possible, and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law when perpetrated.

Next topic: abortion.  Obviously, there is not nearly the consensus regarding abortion that there is about rape.  That is what makes the intersection of the two subjects especially volatile.  For those who advocate abortion on demand for any reason, there is not a problem.  For those like me, who consider life to begin at conception, there is a difficult problem.  When the conception occurs as a consequence of an crime of violence, does that circumstance alter the ethical and moral considerations?

I'd Like Some Waffle Fries, But Hold the Culture Wars, Please!

It was an amazing story within an amazing story.  Chic-Fil-A president Dan Cathy speaks out in favor of traditional marriage.  Big city mayors and a host of enraged people are aghast.  Then as an afterthought, a minor TV personality talks up support of Chic-Fil-A and before you know it lines of people are out the door and down the block.  Let’s stand up for marriage with a side order of waffle fries!  In an instant, a skirmish in the culture wars had erupted all across the nation as a TV news battle. 

By the way, I was in line that day.  I’m a huge fan of Chic-Fil-A – their service, their business model, their remarkable care of their employess, their convictions AND their waffle fries.  But I digress.

In a backlash to the backlash a number of people then rose up to protest the protests of the protests of Mr. Cathy’s original statement.  These protestors – thrice removed – aimed to disrupt the support for Chick-Fil-A as a corporate purveyor of hate and all things un-American.

One of those people was Adam Smith.  Mr. Smith is married with kids in Phoenix, AZ.  He was adjunct faculty at the University and Chief Financial Officer for a large pharmacuetical company.  He had the revolutionary idea to disrupt “Support Chic-Fil-A Day” by ordering some free water in the drive-thru and giving a piece of his mind to the worker there.  As if a shout at her would intimidate Mr. Cathy?  As an expression of solidarity, Mr. Smith even had the foresight to video the entire episode and post it to You-Tube.  How different things look in the light of day.  You can watch the episode for yourself.

Not Alone In The Face Of Suffering

The past several months have been filled with a number of tragedies.  On every stage - international, national and personal - I've seen things happening that make the question of human suffering and the goodness of God very real and very close to home.

Different worldviews bring differed resources to such suffering.  My Buddhist friends in Asheville would tell me that suffering was just an illusion.  My Word of Faith friends would tell me I'm confessing the wrong thing.  Round and round and round.  Everybody has an "answer."  None of us feel safe or satisfied.

The challenge for Gospel-centered Christians is bringing together the Father's ability - omnipotence - and His will - loving character.  You know the drill, either He lacks the power to end suffering or He lacks the will.  Either way, my unbelieving friends feel like they have me on the point of a real "gotcha."

I've concluded over the years that no one has a neat and tidy answer that pulls together all the different strands of suffering and its reasons.  The Gospel does offer us a unique resource among all others though: A God Who Has Suffered With Us.

The Gospel Changes EVERYTHING

This is a recent post from blogsite Keller Quotes ~ The words of Dr. Timothy Keller.  It's too good not to pass on:

The Gospel And Other Relationships

To Other Races And Cultures.
The liberal (hedonist) approach is to relativize all cultures. (‘We can all get along because there is no truth.’) The conservatives (moralists) believe there is truth for evaluation of cultures, and so they choose some culture as superior and then they idolize it, feeling superior to others in the impulse of self-justifying pride. The gospel leads us to be, on the one hand, somewhat critical of all cultures, including our own (since there is truth), but on the other hand, we are morally superior to no one. After all, we are saved by grace alone. Christians will exhibit both moral conviction yet humility and cultural flexibility.

Follow-Up on Authority of the Scriptures

This Sunday, as part of a series based on the EPC statement of the "Essentials of our Faith," I preached from the Scriptures on the topic of the Authority of the Bible.  Then Monday I cam across two outstanding articles on the Gospel Coalition website that expanded my message.

From "An Interview with Craig Blomberg on Jesus and the Reliability of the Gospels":

Can you tell us a bit about your own personal experience in coming to embrace the historical reliability of the gospels? Was there a period of time in your life when you seriously doubted the historical integrity of the gospel accounts?  Click Here to read the entire article.

From "Making Sense of Scripture's 'Inconsistency'" by Tim Keller

I find it frustrating when I read or hear columnists, pundits, or journalists dismiss Christians as inconsistent because "they pick and choose which of the rules in the Bible to obey." Most often I hear, "Christians ignore lots of Old Testament texts---about not eating raw meat or pork or shellfish, not executing people for breaking the Sabbath, not wearing garments woven with two kinds of material and so on. Then they condemn homosexuality. Aren't you just picking and choosing what you want to believe from the Bible?"

I don't expect everyone to understand that the whole Bible is about Jesus and God's plan to redeem his people, but I vainly hope that one day someone will access their common sense (or at least talk to an informed theological adviser) before leveling the charge of inconsistency.  Click Here to read the entire article.

 And for Monday morning bonus points, here's the video I used in this Sunday's sermon.  It's Tim Keller (again) - "Jesus: The True and Better"

Good Doctrine and the Gospel of Grace

I look back and am thankful to have been discipled by people who took doctrine seriously.  All of the pastors, professors, InterVarsity staff workers and others who shaped my faith were intent on having their faith and mine be well grounded biblically, clear, comprehensive in scope and with historical roots. 

From those beginnings, it was my conviction that there was a great divide between those (I confess: “of us”) with Good or “True” Doctrine and those with Bad or “False” Doctrine.  Forget where we draw that line between good and bad.  The point is that there was a line, and one should be concerned to be on the right side of it.

Now though, the Gospel has pointed me in a different direction, and given me a new challenge.  I have come to see that whatever line there might be is not between people, and less about Good Doctrine or Bad.  Instead, the gulf exists between those whose heart is being shaped by the Gospel of Grace through means of Good Doctrine and everyone else, regardless of doctrinal conviction.  Even closer to the truth is that the line runs through my own heart.  Is Good Doctrine shaping my own motivations to conform with the Gospel of Grace?  Or is my heart using Good Doctrine to pursue a self-salvation project of my own effort?

What Do My Friends and Family Hear From Me?

I was deeply moved this morning by Scotty Smith's prayer for the day from his blog Heavenward.  Click Here for the entire prayer post.

This is our defining and delighting identity as your church—your called-out, beloved people.

     Our organization and flow charts don’t define us.  Our ecclesiastical heritage and theological nuancing don’t define us. Our worship style and pulpit don’t define us. Our mission statement and ministries don’t define us. Your unbreakable commitment to us and inexhaustible love for us are what make us who we are, and thrill us beyond all imagining, Lord Jesus.

     We are the people upon whom you have set your heart, for whom you gave your life, and to whom you are returning as a great Bridegroom. Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! There’s no other relationship that comes close to offering the peace, joy and hope as your relationship with us.

A Sad Summer For Denominational Assemblies

From where I sit, it appears to be a tough summer for denominational assemblies.

That certainly was not the case for me with regard to our own General Assembly of the Evangelical Presbyterian Church.  It was inspiring, missional and theologically solid as I have posted earlier.  You can get the detail by clicking here.

My experience there seems to stand in stark contrast with what I read elsewhere regarding other denominations – particularly the Presbyterian ones.  For those who are new to this, be aware that there are about eight separate and distinct denominations in the US that consider themselves Presbyterian – so there is no single, all-inclusive group that can be called “the Presbyterian Church” in the US.  While I am always glad to inform and comment on matters in my own denomination, I typically avoid throwing stones at other groups.  Even when I might have disagreements, I can be fine with “live and let live” for those groups that I am not connected with.  For this instance though, it seems that there is something worth noticing by looking at the big picture across several denominations.  Or just scroll down to the "So What's The Point?" section if you want to skip to my conclusions.

Summer Reading - 2012

Summertime and the living is easy, or so goes the song!  Let me pass along four great books that I’ve read recently for great pleasure and benefit.  They are each perfect for pool or beach.  They taught me about grace and what it might look like to live more deeply from that source.  Three of the four are great stories that would do well on CD while you drive to your vacation destination.

Dallas and the Spitfire: An Old Car, an Ex-Con, and an Unlikely Friendship by Ted Kluck and Dallas Jahncke (Kindle Edition).

So just what is a “dsicipling/mentoring relationship?  This is a great story and a genuine “guy book” that answers that question for men.

Ted Kluck is a former athlete now sports-writer whose family worships at the church in Lansing, MI pastored by Kevin deYoung – one of my favorite gospel-centered bloggers.  Ted is asked to “disciple” Dallas – a young, ex-con, recovering drugs/sex/alcohol abuser who has come to faith in a rescue mission and decides to head off to a fundamentalist Bible College to grow in his faith.  They meet once in Starbucks and realize immediately that they are not “let’s-meet-weekly-at-Starbucks-to-share” people.  They are guys – with EVERYTHING that could mean.

Thankful Beyond Words – Reflections on the 2012 EPC General Assembly

Mary Lynn and I are just returning from the annual General Assembly of the Evangelical Presbyterian Church in Baton Rouge, LA.  Christ Covenant is a mission church of the EPC, and I’ve been a pastor in this body for over 25 years.  As I am always quick to point out, there are 8 different Presbyterian denominations in the United States that are – for better or for worse – separate and distinct from one another.  I’ll comment briefly on some of those others in a different post, but let me say for now:  I am thankful beyond words to be serving the LORD in the fellowship of the EPC.

Let me list some aspects of this year’s General Assembly that show why:

Testing For Marriage? Or For Divorce?

I suspect all of us have family, friends or co-workers who are living together with the intent of one day getting married.  All of those that I listen to tell me that they approach this arrangement as a “test marriage” – a way to see if they have what it takes to make a lifelong commitment.  As it turns out, research is piling up evidence that co-habitating is more like a “test divorce.”  It is an arrangement that sets in play patterns of relationship and behavior that dramatically reduce the probability of being married for ten years into the future.

Jared Wilson is a favorite Gospel blogger of mine.  His recent post entitled “10 Things Young Singles in Romantic Relationship Ought to Know” is right on target. 

Thursday - It's Been A Good Week

It's been a full, fruitful and fascinating week so far.  Here's some random thoughts on the passing scene:

Sunday - The Team Arrives

We had a quiet morning - shopping for supplies, worship at the Grove, pick up the 15-passenger van - all in the midst of deluge.  White-out conditions at times from the rain.

Just before our team began arriving.  Thirteen people at one time from the Richmond Airport.  A few hours later, Becky - coming by way of Detroit - and Joyce, Dee and Anna flying in from Baltimore.  By six o-clock, everyone has arrived and is ready to eat.

Had our first orientation with Sandy Brown - Kevin's wife and the director of volunteer.  She's our key contact for this entire week.  It's encouraging how prepared they seem to be, how glad they are to have us, and how excited our group seems to be about connecting with the neighborhood and ministry here.  Lots of chores to divide up.

We're sharing the week with the student ministry from First EPC of Aurora, IL.  They had a 2 day drive and arrived pretty road weary

First Day Back

Mary Lynn and I arrived in NOLA Saturday afternoon after a good drive through LOTS of rain.  We'll be staying in the TCC Mission House tonight - it was the home of Bill and Mary Lou Brown 34 years ago when we spent our first summer in NOLA with Trinity.  LOTS and LOTS of memories.

We enjoyed getting time with Dwayne and Anthonica - the husband/wife team who are residents of the house as summer mission teams come and go.  He's a student at NOLA Baptist Seminary and pastoring TCC's neighborhood church The Grove.  She teaches in the KIP Charter Academy in NOLA.

LOTS of rain.

The Church in China

For years, I've been watching, waiting and wondering about China.  I would read amazing things about the growth of the church in China - especially the underground "house churches."  It seemed reasonable to me that if the number of Christ-followers was growing so dramatically, there should begin to be some discernible impact on the communist system and culture of China.

The Wall Street Journal recently ran an informative article on Rev. Bob Fu of ChinaAid.  He's the "pastor behind the scenes" in the recent confrontation between China and the US regarding Chen Guangcheng, the blind, human-rights lawyer who escaped house arrest and fled to the American embassy in Bejing.  Mary Kissel writes The news out of China these days is gripping, and there's no one more qualified to read the tea leaves than Bob Fu—who from a town in West Texas coordinates the most influential network of human-rights activists, underground Christians and freedom fighters in China.

Mr. Fu is adamant that Christianity is changing China for the better. "In 1949, according to the official figures, there were about 870,000 Christians in China," he says. "But today, even the conservative number by the government academic survey . . . has risen to 60 million." Mr. Fu thinks the true figure may be 80 million to 100 million. That's not a lot in a country of 1.3 billion, but it's growing fast. Christians "fill the gap" in civil society. "They were the first group driving the tractors and buses after the earthquake in Sichuan [in 2008]. They were the majority of the volunteers." 

It's an article well worth reading in full.  Click Here to do that.

For the data behind the graphic in this post, read "Was It Worth It?."  Found on p. 37 of Issue 52 of Christian History Magazine.  Click Here for a downloadable .pdf

 

More Than Dreams: Muslims Coming to Christ Through Dreams and Visions

This past Sunday, I mentioned the phenomenon of Muslims coming to trust Jesus as Savior through dream encounters.  I promised to blog some of the details from that illustration, so here goes.

First, from a January 2007 article from the Lausanne Movement magazine,

A Band of Natural Enemies. . . .

There are some broken and tense relationships in my life that I've been working hard to bring to reconciliation lately.  And sadly, with little apparent success.  As a result, I've been looking for encouragement and guidance, and while re-reading an article on forgiveness and reconciliation in the life of the church, I came across this extraordinary statement:

The reason there are so many exhortations in the New Testament for Christians to love other Christians is because . . . the church itself is not made up of natural “friends.” It is made up of natural enemies.

Learning to "Pray The Scriptures"

Have you ever heard someone use the expression "praying the Scriptures?"  It's easy to wonder just what they are referring to.  Is it using a Bible text as a special chant?  Is it reading the Bible and calling it prayer?

People at Christ Covenant have heard me mention how my own prayer life has been revitalized and deepened by using Scotty Smith's Heavenward website as part of my regular devotional time.  His April 17th prayer - A Prayer for Measuring the Measureless Riches of Grace - is a great example of "praying the Scripture," in this case Psalm103.  I include the entire post below:

Cohabitation and the Gospel of Grace

The New York Times Sunday Review had a guest article that popped my eyes.  Meg Jan, a clinical psychologist at UVa, was the author.  In the article, she summarizes the growing body of research that studies the impact of cohabitation on people and their marriages.  She then illustrates that research movingly by placing it in the context of real lives that she has worked with in her counseling practice.  Her perspective is by no means faith-based, yet it expresses well, and with independent research, what I have observed over decades of pastoral ministry.

When Jennifer started therapy with me less than a year (after her wedding), she was looking for a divorce lawyer. “I spent more time planning my wedding than I spent happily married,” she sobbed. Most disheartening to Jennifer was that she’d tried to do everything right. “My parents got married young so, of course, they got divorced. We lived together! How did this happen?”

Gospel Eyes: The Bible Isn't About Me

Through the years of ministry, many people have expressed appreciation for the "practical Bible teaching" they received from my ministry.  They meant it as a complement, and I always received it as such. In ways that I have only lately come to see though, much of what made my Bible teaching "practical" was simply instructing and exhorting people on particular behaviors.  It was "biblical" because the instructions had a Bible reference.

Without me realizing it, I had assumed that the Bible was about me. Or you.  Or our finances, or our family or the end times, or how we can have a relationship with God or any number of things that we needed to know or do.  Things other than - or maybe just in addition to - God and His Majesty, His love for all humanity and of course, the Gospel of His Grace.

Had My "Not" In The Wrong Place

 As the saying goes, I had my drawers in a knot this morning.  Actually, I think the knot had been there and growing for several weeks.  And I’m guessing that many of those around me had observed my situation long before I did.  I see now that slowly, quietly and without notice, I had gotten my “not” in the wrong place.

It Can’t Happen Here? After-Birth Abortion

“After-birth abortion: why should the baby live?”  That is the title of a paper recently published in the Journal of Medical Ethics by Australian professors Alberto Giubilini and Francesca Minerva.  From the abstract itself: “The authors argue that what we call ‘after-birth abortion’ (killing a newborn) should be permissible in all the cases where abortion is.”   A statement like this should give all reasonable people reason to step back and take a deep breath.

Let's Be Honest About Dishonesty In The Church

Why does the church have a problem with honesty?  If I must rely on what I can do this week to make myself approved by God, I cannot look at my sin.  I have a stake in not seeing it.  It is not to my benefit to be honest.  It is too threatening.  However, it is the righteousness of Christ credited to my account that frees me to be honest about my struggles and sins, and not to be crushed by them.  Unless I hold on to this by faith, honesty is just too hard and frightening.  Hypocrisy is then just a small step away.   From Intro to Chapter 3 of World Harvest Mission's "Sonship"

It is a simple proposition: We have a hard time facing our failures when we base our self-image and security on our successes.  When I'm "succeeding" - at least in my own eyes - I'm feeling fine about myself.  But when I fail at my goals or personal expectations, I face a real insecurity and disappointment.  It's a cycle that encourages me to avoid facing my failures because of the consequences for my self-identity.

How Marriage Can Shape Our Lives . . . For the Better

 I've been reading Tim Keller's latest book The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God with some friends and finding it full of insight, challenge and encouragement.  I've been a pastor long enough to see marriages fail in a way that left people deeply damaged and with great pain.  I've observed other marriages where people find great grace and transformation - even with no small share of pain as well.  I'm thankful to be living in the second of those.

Keller's picture of marriage - a deep spiritual friendship where each partner becomes an instrument of God's grace, challenge and transformation in the life of the other - has been the most inspiring insight for me.  Here's an excerpt that shows what that sort of marriage would look in the lives of two real people.

All his life, Rob had few friends. One reason for this was that since childhood, Rob had a real problem putting himself into the shoes of others. He had little or no empathy and often was surprised at people’s negative reactions to his words or deeds. When he was in fourth grade, a school counselor told his parents that he thought Rob was a “mild sociopath,” someone who often trampled on the feelings of others because he couldn’t sympathetically imagine what they were feeling. This character flaw had created problems for Rob for years, but he couldn’t see it for what it was. Few of his acquaintances ripened into friendships, and in his first jobs he regularly made missteps that infuriated both superiors and those reporting to him. He lost one job over it.

 Then he met Jessica, and by the second date they both were deep into the in-love experience. She thought he was a brilliant conversationalist, and he was, and he loved the fact that she was an assertive kind of woman who didn’t easily get her feelings hurt. Several times, his sense of humor strayed into the realm of the hurtful and the insulting. This was a problem that he had had all his life, but unlike so many others, Jessica just told him off and put him in his place. He liked that! Finally a woman who wasn’t a shrinking violet.

And so they married, but as the months went by, Rob’s insensitive humor and semi-abusive remarks got worse. When we are in love, we are on our best behavior, but at home and with someone becoming more and more familiar, our natural instincts take over. We no longer catch ourselves. Soon the full extent of Rob’s problem character was there for Jessica to see in all its ugly detail. Jessica began to see how he spoke to other people, and most of them were not as resilient and thick skinned as she was. She realized the kind of relational problems that he was going to have all his life. She became deeply disillusioned with him, and, just a year after their wedding, she found herself fantasizing about being single again and free from him.

 When Rob realized the depth of her unhappiness, he became alarmed, and together they sought counseling from the pastor of their church. That began a long journey. After many weeks of meetings with their pastoral counselor, they had their first breakthrough. One evening, both Rob and Jessica began to see that she had been brought into Rob’s life for this very purpose. She was a strong woman who was not fragile. She was exactly the person who could stand toe-to-toe with Rob and say, “That hurt me. I’m going to tell you exactly how it felt until you learn what your words do to people. I’m not going to clam up on you and just withdraw, and I’m not going to attack you back. I’m going to be like Jesus has been with us—accepting us in love but not allowing us to just destroy ourselves with sin.”

Rob had never had anyone love him like this. People had either just given up and withdrawn from him or had simply attacked him. Here was someone who calmly but candidly described the devastating effect of his words. And most transforming of all was the fact that the person who was telling him about his hurtfulness was the person he loved most in the world. The more Jessica loved him so nobly and well, the less he wanted to see her hurt. And so, slowly but surely, Rob began to listen, learn, and change.

Jessica herself came to see that she also had a need for radical change. “I had a fiercely independent spirit that made it hard for me to depend on anyone,” she said. “If anyone let me down, I simply dropped them. I was completely impatient with them.” When she saw the depths of Rob’s problems, she wanted to flee as she always had, but her marriage vow wouldn’t allow her to do that. For the first time in her life, she couldn’t run from a damaged person.

Three years after their wedding, Rob’s parents hardly recognized him. He was more thoughtful and empathetic than they ever thought he could be. Jessica’s parents noticed a gentleness and a graciousness toward weakness that they hadn’t seen in her before. Marriage’s “power of truth” had done its work.

Keller, Timothy (2011-11-01). The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God (pp. 133-135). Penguin Group. Kindle Edition.

Sorting Through Recent Challenges

It's been a tough week for Christians living in the United States.  I never thought I would write that sentence, but it certainly seems like an obvious statement to me right now.  Our federal Health and Human Services Secretary is mandating that the Roman Catholic Church and it's institutions provide health insurance coverage for procedures the church finds morally unacceptable.  New York City Schools will no longer rent space to churches.  These are issues that are deeper than slogans.  And they require responses that go deeper than slogans and self-preservation.  Let me recommend four articles from various sources that are helping me face these issues with some depth of thought and a gospel-of-grace perspective.

Choose Life

I was a Senior in High School when Roe v. Wade became  the legal framework for abortion in the United States.  It was not until my Senior year of college - while at a seminar on the decline of Western Civilization led by Francis Schaeffer - that I first heard a compelling analysis of the culture of death that Roe v. Wade reflected.

I have spent most of the 35 years since then as a pastor in a local church setting.  I have sat, listened and counseled with a number of women who were considering abortion, and a much larger number of women who, at some point in their lives, had decided to have an abortion.

One thing stands out as I listened to all those stories.  All of the women who decided to get an abortion did so because they felt they had no other choice.

Resources for Your Prayer Life

Cultivating a prayer fruitful life requires more than collecting lists and forms for prayer.  At it's core, prayer is a conversation between the Heavenly Father and His child.  When I look for resources to encourage my own prayer life or to share with others, that is the goal I have in mind.  Does this resource cultivate conversation?  Or does it replace conversation? 

Here are some specific suggestions.

No Wonder The World Is Confused!

Perhaps you heard me scream Sunday night.  A recent article in USA Today entitled "Evangelicals May Face Choice: Electable Candidate Or 'Moral' One" completely misrepresented the nature of grace.  Unfortunately, the misrepresentation was by an "evangelical" spokesman for a political advocacy group.  USA Today simply quoted him correctly.  Here's the offending statement:

My Devotional "System" for 2012

Whether it is getting up in the morning and getting the kids to school, getting the bills paid on time or getting regular exercise, everyone I know benefits from having a plan or system for taking care of the routine needs of our life.  It's the same for the devotional life:  Here too, I benefit from a system for regular Bible reading and prayer.

As part of our Covenant Renewal focus for January,  we'll be talking about growing our life in areas of spiritual discipline like Bible reading, prayer, service and the like.  But I won't talk a lot during that time  about systems for doing those things.  That's because I know that while a heart that is seeking God can benefit from a system for regular spiritual disciplines, no system of spiritual discipline can overcome a heart that is distracted.  We'll be preaching to the heart in January because that is where the real need is and that is where the Gospel of grace changes us.

Still, systems have their place.  So I thought I'd share mine for those that might be interested.  Let me begin by saying that my system is helpful for me, but I suspect it may not be helpful for most people.  People are different.  I'm a task-oriented, tech-friendly, driven sort of guy.  You can see that in my system.  Different people will need different systems that fit their own needs, habits and goals.  I'd rather have a conversation with you about what works for you than squeeze you into my system, but I'm happy to share where my heart is finding strength each day.