Lies My Orphan Voice Recently Told Me

Molly Bites Back After Maddy Takes Her Down

We've got two Labradoodle "minis" that are cuter than any dogs have a right to be.  Recently, they came roaring through the door into the house and continued their favorite game of "full-contact-Labradoodle-wrestling" all through our kitchen.  Mary Lynn's response was, "Oh, to have such energy."

Still on my first cup of coffee, I heard myself thinking "Anyone would be so rambunctious and carefree if all they had to do was play, eat and sleep and had someone else taking care of their every need."  Immediately, I realized that was "my Orphan Voice" speaking. 

I remembered Jesus saying in Luke 12:27-31

“Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.  If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith!  And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.

The fact of the matter is that I do indeed have Someone Who knows what I need and is pleased to give it to me.  Play, eat and sleep certainly.  But also identity, encouragement, purpose and more.  The Gospel means that all of that and more is mine in Christ.

As I pondered, I saw with increasing clarity that my Orphan Voice spoke from two troubling convictions:

1. Unbelief - At root, I really did not trust Jesus at His word.  He says He has all I need and is happy to give it to me, but I think "If I don't get out there at get at it, we'll all go hungry!"  I'll skip the painful irony that currently in my life, the "getting at it" of my job, is making the Gospel clear to my Father's flock at Christ Covenant.  Hmmmmmmm.
2. Pride - When things go well, I prefer to look at "the work of my hands" as if they were only that: the work of MY hands.  Real trust gives away final credit, and my proud heart is unhappy to do that.  Of course, this leads me to bouts of insecurity, depression and self-doubt when things don't go so right.

So, on the level of my behaviors, all I needed was a second cup of coffee.  After all, so far I had not said a word out loud.  But on the level of my heart - the motivational center of my personhood - I needed to do some specific repentance.  I needed to turn the dial away fromt the unbelief and pride that were broadcasting my Orphan Voice, and tune in on my Savior's promises.

Graciously, as I pursued that repentance, I found the sunrise of a new perspective emerging on my workday.  My work - the creativity, productivity and fruitfulness of my efforts through the day - were what my Father had called me to in the circle of graciously receiving His provision for the day and responding in faith and thankfulness.  I watched the dogs chase each other with reckless abandon and imagined pursuing my day in the same new way.

I'm guessing that most people reading this post choked at thinking of their work as "the creativity, productivity and fruitfulness of my efforts through the day" and wondered if church planting is really like that all the time.  Answer: it's not.  And over the past few years, I've had several jobs that would hardly  be considered fulfilling.  For instance, does call center computer support or retail on Black Friday strike you with fear and loathing?  I love my work now.  But clearly needed a heart centered on the Gospel to experience it.  I saw the same thing while working those other jobs as well.

The practice of prayerfully connecting the reality of the Gospel with the circumstances of my daily life is about navigating the pathways of my own heart in light of my Father's grace.  I needed more than another cup of coffee the other morning.  And what I need was provided at the cross.

My thanks to Rose Marie Miller for the insight regarding "the Orphan Voice."  Her story and this term are known to everyone who has been shaped by World Harvest Mission's "Sonship" material.