Church Conflict and "Reading the Bible With Gospel Eyes"

I've been in ministry long enough now to have seen - and been part of - all the church conflict I need for a life time.  For many of my unbelieving friends, church conflict born of pettiness or self-righteousness is sufficient reason - in their minds, at least - to step back from anything church related.  I'm sympathetic, but not convinced.  Sadly, church conflict becomes for them the noise that drowns out the music of the Gospel of grace.