Learning to Disagree Graciously

I'm certain we have all faced the wide, even contradictory, variety of convictions regarding foundational Christian truth that operate across the Church Universal.  With this diversity, is there any hope that the church can avoid becoming as partisan and bogged down as Congress?  How is it that that believers of differing convictions can live with one another and those differences?  Does it all really depend on winning the argument?  As if "once everyone agrees with me we can get along."

In sorting through these issues in my own ministry, I have concluded that it is one thing to study theology and Christian truth, but another thing entirely to interact with others about that truth.  One is theoretical and removed from relationship – the pure contemplation and pursuit of Truth.  The other is pursuing Truth in relationship with another person and their experiences.  It is an important and helpful distinction for me.

First, it keeps me focused on the fact that salvation is about trusting what Jesus has done on the cross, and not about another person’s perfect behavior or understanding of that act.  I will share eternity with a wide variety of people on the basis of our trust in Jesus, not because of our similarity in theology, culture, history or politics.  I need to learn to live with those differences in this life, keep focused on the central point of trust in Jesus, and be humble enough to realize that in that “twinkling of an eye when we shall be made like Him,” there may be as much change wrought in my life and thinking as there is in the lives of those fellow “trusters-in-Jesus” with whom I now disagree, or even find irritating.

Second, the distinction reminds me that when interacting with others, I should keep in mind two important ideas for the conversation:

·    God Graciously Uses All Sorts of Human Confusion – The Father graciously reaches people through all sorts of ideas and theologies different than mine.  In fact, part of my own story is drawing closer to faith in Christ after hearing a sermon telling me that the Chinese army was massing on it’s western border at that very moment and that it would soon attack Israel which would initiate the Tribulation, and I wanted to be sure and be raptured out of that awful time.  I have since held on to the trusting Jesus part of that message while dropping the fear motivation and dispensational theology.  I trust others will keep the trusting Jesus part of my own preaching and drop whatever they need to of the rest of it.

We All Have Personal Filters – I can and do make evaluations of “official” theologies of all sorts: Roman Catholic, Reformed, Pentecostal, Liberation, Dispensational to name just a few that are out there.  It is part of how I considered options and came to my own convictions.  Experience in relationships has taught me though that every person relates to those "official" theologies – even the one they would identify as their own conviction – through the filters of their own experience and thinking.  I have often found myself responding to a particular “official” theological perspective with a person whose personal connection with that theology was different than what I would “officially” expect.  For example, I am no supporter of Roman Catholic doctrine. I have met people though – when I would listen first –  who were faithful, practicing Roman Catholics who managed to minimize or move on past a number of “official” doctrines and respond with faith to the grace of Jesus.  I'm wanting to argue about transubstantiation, and they have just brushed it aside in terms of their own faith and practice.  Likewise, I have met plenty of people whose minds were filled to fullness with theological convictions like mine – Reformed – but had somehow never come to trust Jesus.  They merely thought Reformed thoughts about Him. 

When interacting with another person regarding differing theological systems, I try to make my first question, “What is it about this system/denomination/writer/experience that is meaningful to you?”  Rather than make assumptions and tilt at the windmill of some “official” theology, I want to first listen and understand just what is compelling to them about their own belief system.  What parts of that system have moved them, and what parts have they skated over or not even been aware of?

With those two things in mind, there is a chance to differ about important convictions with being disagreeable.  It has been for me an important step in building relationships of grace that God sometimes uses to His glory.

Here's a good addition to the conversation from the Gospel Coalition

Chandler, Horton, Keller on How to Disagree from The Gospel Coalition on Vimeo.