Weeds in the Yard, Weeds in My Heart

A few days ago, while walking back from picking up the mail, I bent over a flower bed to pull up a few weeds that had sprouted up.  Within minutes, my hands were dirty, I was dripping with perspiration and quite frustrated by this pointless, unending task.  What was most frustrating.  .  .  .
                              was the fact that so far this summer I have already had two major "weeding sessions."  You know - the kind where you get up early after a night of heavy rain and carefully pull out weeds by the roots.  An hour in the dirt before the sun gets hot.  Three garbage bags of weeds to put on the curb.

On top of that, I regularly stop to pull up a few new weeds when I'm bringing the mail in.  I'm doing this several times a week!

Somehow today was just more hot and bothersome than usual.  And dealing with the weeds just seemed like more than I wanted to do - again and again and again.

While cooling off inside and complaining to myself (can I be honest?), I was struck by the way I struggle with some of my own patterns of unbelief and mistrust of God.  I began to realize that some of these weeds in my own heart make the ones in my flower beds look benign.  And the regular process of gospel repentance - just like weeding - has been going on now for some time longer than we've even lived in this house.

Gospel Repentance - as opposed to worldly sorrow (II Corinthians7:10) - is a spiritual discipline that brings restoration of joy and fruitfulness of service.  It is a practice that every grace-focused believer needs to develop.

Gospel Repentance grows out of my secure identity as an adopted child of a loving King and Father.  Because I am secure in Him, He is free to lead me deeper into my own heart to see not just behaviors of sin, but the motivational roots of those behaviors.  Seeing deeper by His grace, I can see the Gospel work a deeper freedom and joy through repentance.

Gospel Repentance does not bring me back to my status as a child of God.  Instead, my status as a child of God enables me to pursue repentance as an act of trust and faith, not works.  The cross of Jesus was enough to ensure my adoption, for while I was still a sinner, Jesus died for me.  (Romans 5:8)  That assurance enables Gospel Repentance, not the other way around.

My need for Gospel Repentance doesn't show me - and the watching world - that I don't yet "have it right" in terms of my faith or maturity.  Instead, it reflects the depth of my own brokenness and sin and my desperate, ongoing need for a Rescuer.  It nurtures a humility of heart that comes from having to face the fact that I cannot perform up to standard, and it frees me from demanding that same performance of others.

I know one day, the process will be finished and the work of Gospel Repentance will be complete.  Completed by His perfect work not my diligent effort, for in the twinkling of an eye, we shall be like Him. (I Corinthians 15:52; I John 3:2)

Yes, weeding my heart with Gospel Repentance is an ongoing job, just like weeding our flower beds.  Each step along the journey of our life brings new issues and opportunities for the gospel of grace to change our hearts.  Martin Luther was right.  We do need to preach the gospel to ourselves each day.  The news is that good, our need is that deep and our lives are moving forward each day.  And more than just a pleasant looking yard, gospel repentance yields a harvest of righteousness and peace.  (Hebrews 12:11)